Love By The Modalities

Image Courtesy of Google

Image Courtesy of Google


I’ve been receiving a lot of emails, tweets, DMs and Facebook messages regarding relationships and “love astrology.” Although I consider several factors when it comes to relationship compatibility (also called “synastry”), I’d like to touch a bit on “love by the Modalities.” Underneath this introductory paragraph is a very brief explanation of each planet’s role in astrology. This article will deal ONLY with Venus signs as this is the foremost planet associated with relationships. I’d recommend you read for your Sun sign and Venus sign to get a more “well rounded” view of how you most likely behave in your love affairs.

[Here’s your planet “cheat list” in case you’re curious about where Venus fits in all of this]

Sun sign= represents our individuality: the self-image we have that we project to the outside world.

Moon sign= represents our emotions: how we express them and where we find emotional security.

Mercury sign=represents our mind & thoughts: describes how we explore things that are intellectually stimulating to us and how we engage in critical& deductive thinking.

Venus sign= represents our romantic values: what do we value in our partnerships and how do we behave when we are in a romantic relationship.

Mars sign= represents our motivations and how we expend energy: describes what motivates us and how we chase our goals/expend energy.

Jupiter sign= represents how we can attract success and material abundance: describes the areas in which we can maximize our chances for “good luck.”

Saturn sign= represents how we respond to limitations, boundaries and structure in our life: can also describe the areas of our life where we feel most blocked or restricted in our lives.

Uranus sign= represents how we break free from the status quo: can also describe the areas of our lives where we most fear the loss of freedom and where we are likely to behave most unconventionally.

Neptune sign= represents how we interpret our dreams, visions and illusions: can also describe how we make connections between ourself and all things divine.

Pluto sign= represents how we experience inner upheavals and the methods we employ when we undergo serious internal transformations.

Again, I’d recommend reading for both your Sun and Venus sign in order to get a more well-rounded idea of how you behave in relationships. For example, my Sun is in Virgo but my Venus is in Libra so I would read for both.


Cardinal signs

In the system of the zodiac, astrologers label Cardinal signs as the “initiators”, “creators”, “builders”, and “enterprisers” of the cosmos. This is because literally each Cardinal sign corresponds with the start of a new season. So symbolically, if you have a Venus sign (or Sun sign) in the Cardinal family, you prefer to be the “leader” of the union. Generally speaking, Cardinals enthusiastically initiate relationships with ease but may not have the willpower to sustain them should their interest wane. These lovers are often passionately aggressive with their partners and can be bold when approaching a potential mate or when approaching certain issues within an existing relationships. Cardinal signs see what they want and make it happen (albeit their style of approach varies based on the Element). As “the beginner” of the seasons, astrologers also tie Cardinals to the identity—which I’ll explain shortly.

Cardinal signs usually find themselves wanting to act out the role of the “head” of the relationship [and if they have several planets in Cardinal signs, this need to micromanage intensifies]. Ultimately, they value love mates who are forward thinking, progressive, pioneering and self-starters. Negatively, when in relationships, Cardinals signs are more impulsive, unpredictable and opportunistic; they can sometimes focus so much on their own romantic needs instead of heeding the needs of their partner.

Aries= [Fire element/Cardinal modality] Aries season marks the beginning of Spring (Mar 21st-April 19th). The Ram is passionate and innovative: expending romantic energy in a physical sense. These can be dominant and assertive with their lovers. This boldness is great for individuals who require their mate to step in and take the reins: Aries would be happy to take the job. Aries can be physically impulsive with a distinct need to “act” even if something doesn’t require action. This Fire sign is direct and honest usually to a fault. Of all 12 signs (Cardinal or not), Aries is the most independent and seeks a partner who is equally independent. It’s very unlikely for this individual to be submissive, especiallyif their Sun or Moon sign is in the Fire or Air element. Aries identifies through self-gratification and pursuing goals that are beneficial to self: so it’s important for Aries to find a mate who encourages a bit of freedom in the union. Negatively, the Ram can behave carelessly with the hearts of others and spend more time selfishly pursuing their own needs before considering the needs of their spouse.

Cancer= [Water element/Cardinal modality] Cancer season marks the beginning of Summer ( June 21st– July 22nd). The Crab’s wraps its romantic energy around Cancer’s need to make an emotional connection with their partner. Cancer rules the domestic sphere, therefore, this Water sign places an unusually strong emphasis on the family, the home, and emotional security. The mother of Cancer plays a significant role in their lives & family. In relationships, Cancer is very much a nurturer and enjoy creating environments where their lover feels “at home” with them. Cancer identifiesthrough emotions and emotional reactions by their mates: thus they are intuitive and feed off the emotional energy of their spouse.  When upset or should a Cancerian lover feel slighted (whether it is real or perceived), they can be moody, sulk and gripe for attention from their lover. Negatively, Cancer is also inclined to smother their other half with their innate need to be depended on—which is problematic for more independent signs who need space and freedom.

Libra=[Air element/ Cardinal modality] Libra season marks the beginning of Autumn (Sept 23nd-October 22nd). This is actually one of the “home constellations” of Venus: meaning the qualities attributed to Venus are very similar to the characteristics attributed to Libra. As the signs of partnerships, Libra thrives on relationships and feels woefully incomplete if they experience periods of“singledom.” The Scales represent Libra, so balanced relationships are extremely significant to this Air sign: any disharmony or discord in their unions aren’t taken lightly. Libras identify themselves through their romantic relationships. Art, music, luxury, fashion and things that are aesthetically pleasing are also important to this sign. Since Cardinals are “initiators” and Air signs expend mental energy, Libra initiates romantic partnerships through intellectual stimulation. It’s highly likely that Libra falls for a mate who always seems to have all the right things to say, although the sweet nothings are never backed up with any action. Dreamy Libra is prone to being in love with the idea of love instead of being in love with their mate which can be a huge challenge in love affairs. Negatively, of all the Cardinal signs, Libra is more inclined to compromise their values in order to keep the peace in the relationship: toxic relationships are tolerated instead of appropriately handled.

Capricorn= [Earth element/Cardinal modality] Capricorn season marks the Winter season (Dec 21st– Jan 20th). Capricorn is a very traditional, reserved and conservative lover. Astrologers associate this practical Earth sign with structure and order; Capricorn identifies itself through their social status, wealth and material acquisition. Capricorn mates prefer partners who can offer (or at least potentially offer) some form of financial and material security. As an Earth sign, strong emphasis is placed on sensibleness and realism: six dozen roses sent to the Cap’s job would not be appreciated as it does not deliver some sort of concrete benefit to them. A Capricorn lover may be more impressed by their mate taking the initiative to fix things around the house, or picking up their dry cleaning when they’re working late. Of all the Cardinals, Capricorn is the lover that requires measurable, tangible (but pragmatic) evidence of love.


Image Courtesy of Google.

Image Courtesy of Google.


Fixed Signs

Next up are the Fixed signs. In terms of our seasons analogy, Fixed signs maintainwhatever the previous Cardinal sign created/initiated. If you’re looking for a relationship with staying power, then it’d be best to link with a Fixed sign. These natives are patient, tenacious and willful—especially in their partnerships. It takes them a while to settle, but once they’ve committed to the union, they are in for the long-haul. Consequently, Fixed signs are more inclined to remain in unhealthy/unfulfilling relationships because they are adverse to change. This resistance to change can sometimes point to Fixed signs being controlling (albeit where they are most controlling depends on their element). As usual, issues of control are also linked to power struggles in certain areas of their partnerships.

Positively, Fixed signs are dedicated and calculated, requiring the most security in their love affairs. They are steady and, in my opinion, the most reliable & predictable of the zodiac. Endurance comes easily and Fixed signs can patiently “wait out” a potential mate; also requiring patience and understanding from their lovers. Negatively, Fixed signs—of all 12 signs—can be the most revengeful and jealous in the zodiac. These guys are the ultimate loyalists and take these virtues very seriously.

Taurus= [Earth element/Fixed modality] Taurus maintains the Spring season that Aries initiated (April 19th-May 20th). Taurus serves as the second “home” for the planet Venus, as Venus feels equally comfortable here (as well as when traveling through Libra). Just as with Libra, art, music, luxury, fashion, theatre, and anything else aesthetically pleasing is of great interest to Taurus. Astrologers also associate the Bull with earned income, self-worth/esteem and material acquisition. Taurus focuses a great deal on financial and material security so they value partners who can provide these things for themselves. A large amount of Taurus’s attention is directed towards making more money and buying more things; thus, the Bull may attempt to control household finances and possessions: feeling most comfortable in the position of guardian/gatekeeper. Taurus is immensely resistant to change and expect reliability in their mate (ever heard of the term “bull headed” to describe stubbornness. Yes.). As an Earth sign, Taurus is very in touch with their five senses:  finding satisfaction in sensual and earthy indulgences. J

Leo= [Fire element/ Fixed modality] Leo maintains the Summer season that Cancer initiated (July 22nd-August 21st). Leo is associated with creative expression, leisure/entertainment activities, hobbies, sports and anything that’s just “fun.” It is quite possible that Leo seeks partners in these fields or desires to share their love of these things with whoever they are dating. The Lion is the attention seeker of the zodiac, and this trait is amplified in relationships: attempting to control their mates to ensure they are constantly at the receiving end of their partner’s affection and adoration. Of course, Leo invests heavily in their ego & if it is stroked, the love is returned to their mate tenfold. Leo is the true romantic of the Fixed group, and don’t mind being generous when in love. Negatively, Leos are very welcoming of drama as it provides a bit of excitement every now and again when the Fire becomes too dull.

Scorpio= [Water element/ Fixed modality] Scorpio maintains the Autumn season that Libra initiated (Oct 23rd-Novemeber 21st). Scorpio is associated with emotional intensity, internal upheavals and (deep) soul-shattering commitment. These folks aren’t attracted to the squeaky clean/dull partners that offer safety —instead preferring lovers with a gritty underside just beneath the surface. The Scorpion may attempt to control their mates through their emotional responses: as with Leo, drama is appreciated in doses because to Scorpio, it underscores the emotional commitment/devotion to the union. This intensity can be overwhelming for spouses who are somewhat light and carefree in love affairs. This Water sign is very much a sexual lover , and may also attempt to control their relationship through their hypersexuality or withdrawing from sexual contact with their spouse altogether. Positively, Scorpio can remain immensely faithful and prefers bonds that contain elements of true dedication. They are, however, equally vindictive when scorned.

Aquarius= [Air element/ Fixed modality] Aquarius maintains the Winter season that Capricorn initiated ( Jan 21st– Feb 19th). To me, Aquarius has always been the tricky one of the Fixed crew, simply because they are such spirited individuals that seem to break away from conventional constraints of any kind. What I’ve noticed with a lot of my clients in partnerships with Aquarians, is that they are quite tolerant of structure, as long as they can be chaotic within it. The Water Bearer is often labeled unpredictable, but I believe that they prefer a predictable relationship that offers elements of spontaneity and nontradition—which is the true difference here. Astrologers associate Aquarius with humanism, collectivism, innovation and our higher connections to society. Thus, they appreciate a mate with some essence of shock value and attract lovers who are eccentric or quirky when pressed against mainstream society. As an Air sign, Aquarius is mentally adventurous and is completely thrown off when others attempt to control their intellectual processes. As the zodiac’s biggest oxymoron, Aquarians stand firm in their romantic beliefs, refusing to bow to their partner (even when internally, they recognize the necessity of evolution). I’d suppose this is the precise reason why we find them placed among the Fixed family.



Image Courtesy of Google.

Image Courtesy of Google.

Mutable Signs

Lastly, we have the Mutable family. These are definitely the game changes of the zodiac. Mutable signs are flexible, adapting and compromising in partnerships. There’s an element of changeability here due to the dual nature of these signs. As keeping with our seasons metaphor, Mutable signs evolve or change what the Fixed group has maintained in order to pave way for a Cardinal rebirth. Symbolically, this group finds it extremely to adapt: molding themselves to be whatever their lover needs them to be in that moment. It’s easy for Mutables to move around problems in a relationship: either solving the issue or simply ignoring it altogether so they don’t have to deal with the stress. Mutables can sometimes make well-intended plans or agreements with others but often overlook their capabilities. The end result? They make commitments with thinly stretched resources —a lot of people may say these guys are full of empty promises and unreliability. [Unfortunately, as a Sun in Virgo, this might be justttttt a little bit true *sigh* I try to do too much sometimes].

Negatively, Mutable signs are unpredictable, wishy-washy, fickle and in a constant state of flux. Although they have the ability to adapt to their partner’s needs, once they become unsatisfied, they move away from the relationship in its entirety. Of all 12 signs, Mutables do not like feeling trapped and require the most freedom in their love unions. In my opinion, there’s a deep seeded fear of commitment here, a Mutable may ask, “but what if something better comes along?” In truth, if you’ve dealt with a partner who does continuous disappearing and reappearing acts in your life, chances are, they either had their Sun or Venus placed in the Mutable group.

Gemini=[Air element/Mutable modality] Gemini evolves what was maintained by Taurus during Spring to prepare for the Cardinal (Cancer) rebirth of Summer (May 21st-June 21st). Gemini is the supreme example “fickle.” Gemini is associated with communication, networking, and social connections. These guys are chatty—sometimes unnecessarily so. Thus, many Geminis establish relationships through the meeting of the minds. Geminis are immensely flirtatious: word play, verbal/mental stimulation and exciting conversations are exhilarating to this Air sign. Gemini needs variety and freedom  in a love affair, unfortunately causing them to develop light and superficial bonds. It’s quite easy for Gemini to gloss over serious issues in their partnerships, as dealing with them head-on isn’t appealing. When their tastes or interests change, the mate of Gemini may or may not get the memo: it just depends on how Gemini is feeling that day. They have the ability to appear insincere when in actuality, they care but are relatively detached [hence the symbolism of the Twins: there are “two sides to this story”].Positively, if you can keep up with the unpredictability, this social sign enjoys endless conversations and can be charmingly witty. In the long run, Gemini seeks to evolve their partnerships through abstract connections.

Virgo= [Earth element/Mutable modality] Virgo evolves what was maintained by Leo during Summer to prepare for the Cardinal (Libra) rebirth of Autumn (August 22nd-Sept 22nd). As an Earth sign, Virgo prefers partners who are grounded in reality and offer practical displays of devotion (as it shall be returned). Resourceful Virgo can sometimes be a hypercritical and hypersensitive lover, seeking to make themselves and their partners as efficient in the relationship as possible. A Virgo spouses feels most romantically secure when they feel useful. Virgo is on the constant hunt for ways to evolve their love unions pragmatically. This is all fine unless the Virgin is coupled with a mate who is defiant and free-spirited: then it causes trouble. The nagging ways of Virgo aren’t always well delivered or well received in the heat of the moment. Although Mutables are in a constant state of flux: analyzing the relationship in order to figure out where they need to adjust, in my opinion, Virgo is the most stable of the four. I think this has more to do with the element than the modality. Virgo can be “hot-and-cold” as they battle being compromising of their partner’s faults, and just being plain judgmental. It’s difficult to tie Virgo down due to their constantly changing needs: it can be hard for their partner to figure out exactly what they want and how to give it to them. Just with the other Mutables, Virgo can appear aloof and unconcerned. Their attention is normally pulled in 1000 different directions, it’s challenging for them to settle on one thought at a time. Consequently, Virgo’s partner may notice they waver from being completely engulfed in the affair and then completely detached. Once their interest dwindles, they are quite able to wipe their hands clean of the partnership altogether: very rarely do Virgos linger. Negatively, partners may not know how to satisfy the needs of Virgo.

Sagittarius= [Fire element/ Mutable modality] Sagittarius evolves what was maintained by Scorpio during Autumn to prepare for the Cardinal (Capricorn) rebirth of Winter (Nov 22nd-Dec 20th). Astrologers tie Sag with philosophical/cultural/religious/spiritual/ethical/cultural/educational pursuits; the Archer may seek a partner in these fields or a mate who is open to exploring these interests with them. Sagittarius is always looking at the big picture and spends very little time focused on the small details of their life (which is the umbrella for their love relationships). This trait can be very frustrating to someone who may be a bit clingy. Sagittarius is very much an “expansionist”, demanding mental and physical space from a lover should they become suffocating in any fashion. Suffocating partnerships are abandoned by this Fire sign, often leaving their partner’s confused as to “what the hell happened exactly?” Passions are changeable here and the Sagittarian lover expects their lover to keep up: desiring a love match in which their lover respects and supports their visions and adventures. A Sagittarian constantly evolves their outline of the ideal relationship. Truthfully, it takes a lot of patience to fully deal with Sagittarius. The Archer is a big dreamer, grand schemer, and blindly optimistic. It’s not uncommon for Sag to whisk someone off their feet then turn around and have cold feet about the union at a later date.

Pisces= [Water element/Mutable modality] Pisces evolves what was maintained by Aquarius during Winter to prepare for the Cardinal( Aries) rebirth of Spring (Feb 20th-Mar 20th). Pisces is associated with atonement/forgiveness, consciousness, enlightenment and selflessness. The combination of the Mutable quality and Water element indicates that the emotions of Piscean types are extremely changeable. There’s a fuzzy line between fantasy and reality, confusing partners about how to grapple with the constant sensitivity changes. Pisces is quite devoted (as are the other Water siblings), but they can effortlessly get lost in their inner world—causing them to detach from their mate as they attach themselves to their own thoughts. Of all the Mutables, Pisces is the most romantic and idealistic in the pursuit of new relationships. Just like Libra, Pisces easily falls in love with the idea of loving a person instead of loving who they are; conversely, they are much more prone than other Mutables to fall in love with someone’s “potential”instead of their “present.” As a result, it’s trying for Pisces to seriously handle issues within their partnerships as they often refuse to accept certain facts. This nurturing Water sign is extraordinarily creative, intuitive and aware of their environment. Negatively, the Piscean tendency to live in their head can confuse mates who aren’t experienced at reading nonverbal cues.